21 March 2012

Dear My Lawn,

I mowed you on Thanksgiving day this past year. That was pretty ridiculous, to tell you the truth. And now here it is the second day of spring and I've just mowed you for the first time of a new growing season. That's approximately 4 months out of 12 when I did not have to use a lawn mower. I find this highly unacceptable. Just thought you should know, in case it influences your timeline for next winter in any way.

Begrudgingly,
Tim

13 March 2012

If you know me at all, you know that I waver between tolerance and extreme dislike when it comes to sports fan(atic)s. Be it the way they take the games so seriously, or be it the way they refer to a team of players who they've likely never met as "us". And, due to proximity, Philly fans are usually the immediate target of this distaste. My favorite is how, in Philadelphia, "they" lose games but "we" win them. (IE: Did you see the Flyers game this afternoon? I can't believe they lost to the Rangers again. At least we beat the Penguins yesterday, though.)

Well, Philly fans, after a road trip to Newark, NJ this past Sunday to see the Flyers take on the NJ Devils - I can truthfully say that you are not the worst fans in the world. While there were a few scattered patches of classy people in the arena, the majority of seats were filled with people who seemed to be present not to support their home team but to hate the away team.

The most glaring example of this was every time (four, to be precise) the Devils scored a goal and the arena played triumphant music, the Devils "fans" didn't cheer their player - they took the opportunity to chant "You suck!" Presumably this was directed at the Flyers goaltender, or maybe the whole team in general. To me, though, it came across as telling your team's player that he sucks for scoring a goal. Kind of weird.

Runners up to this phenomena were:

1) I think at least three time we heard large sections of the crowd singing, "If you really hate the Flyers clap your hands. If you really hate the Flyers clap your hands. If you think they really suck and they'll never win a cup, if you really hate the Flyers clap your hands." Clever. (ish). But repetition of childrens songs with snarky words kind of loses steam with each trip to the well.

2) The family friendly chant (again, said MANY times) of - "Rangers suck, Flyers swallow." Cute.

Now, I am willing to admit that Philly fans are not necessarily "classier" than this. (Please don't comment about throwing snowballs at Santa Claus. That was like 20 years ago.) But I feel as though Philly fans, surly though they may be, are actually somewhat informed about the sports they watch. And they generally blend their taunting of the opposing team with actually cheering (or booing... nevermind) their hometown heroes.

Or maybe I'm just biased. Not sure. All I know is that I won't be going to see any hockey games in Newark again.... ever.

02 March 2012

The ultimate revenge of irony is when someone with a strong sense of irony spends time with people who seem to be completely unfamiliar with the concept.

For those in this latter group, please allow someone from the former group to give you a quick primer -

If somebody says something to you that is obviously completely untrue, this is probably irony. For example: When my wife says to me, "Why don't you love me?" because I won't share my dessert with her. This is clearly irony, because I love her regardless of whether or not I choose to give her a cookie.

So then, if you non-ironic types could take just a moment out of your thought process to assess the validity of a situation before becoming offended by it - that would make life so much more enjoyable for us ironic types.

Thanks. (Seriously.)