Dear My Lawn,

I mowed you on Thanksgiving day this past year. That was pretty ridiculous, to tell you the truth. And now here it is the second day of spring and I've just mowed you for the first time of a new growing season. That's approximately 4 months out of 12 when I did not have to use a lawn mower. I find this highly unacceptable. Just thought you should know, in case it influences your timeline for next winter in any way.

Begrudgingly,
Tim

If you know me at all, you know that I waver between tolerance and extreme dislike when it comes to sports fan(atic)s. Be it the way they take the games so seriously, or be it the way they refer to a team of players who they've likely never met as "us". And, due to proximity, Philly fans are usually the immediate target of this distaste. My favorite is how, in Philadelphia, "they" lose games but "we" win them. (IE: Did you see the Flyers game this afternoon? I can't believe they lost to the Rangers again. At least we beat the Penguins yesterday, though.)

Well, Philly fans, after a road trip to Newark, NJ this past Sunday to see the Flyers take on the NJ Devils - I can truthfully say that you are not the worst fans in the world. While there were a few scattered patches of classy people in the arena, the majority of seats were filled with people who seemed to be present not to support their home team but to hate the away team.

The most glaring example of this was every time (four, to be precise) the Devils scored a goal and the arena played triumphant music, the Devils "fans" didn't cheer their player - they took the opportunity to chant "You suck!" Presumably this was directed at the Flyers goaltender, or maybe the whole team in general. To me, though, it came across as telling your team's player that he sucks for scoring a goal. Kind of weird.

Runners up to this phenomena were:

1) I think at least three time we heard large sections of the crowd singing, "If you really hate the Flyers clap your hands. If you really hate the Flyers clap your hands. If you think they really suck and they'll never win a cup, if you really hate the Flyers clap your hands." Clever. (ish). But repetition of childrens songs with snarky words kind of loses steam with each trip to the well.

2) The family friendly chant (again, said MANY times) of - "Rangers suck, Flyers swallow." Cute.

Now, I am willing to admit that Philly fans are not necessarily "classier" than this. (Please don't comment about throwing snowballs at Santa Claus. That was like 20 years ago.) But I feel as though Philly fans, surly though they may be, are actually somewhat informed about the sports they watch. And they generally blend their taunting of the opposing team with actually cheering (or booing... nevermind) their hometown heroes.

Or maybe I'm just biased. Not sure. All I know is that I won't be going to see any hockey games in Newark again.... ever.

The ultimate revenge of irony is when someone with a strong sense of irony spends time with people who seem to be completely unfamiliar with the concept.

For those in this latter group, please allow someone from the former group to give you a quick primer -

If somebody says something to you that is obviously completely untrue, this is probably irony. For example: When my wife says to me, "Why don't you love me?" because I won't share my dessert with her. This is clearly irony, because I love her regardless of whether or not I choose to give her a cookie.

So then, if you non-ironic types could take just a moment out of your thought process to assess the validity of a situation before becoming offended by it - that would make life so much more enjoyable for us ironic types.

Thanks. (Seriously.)

Just sitting here watching TV and I saw a commercial for this:




Blonde coffee? Isn't that called tea? I mean, not that I've been amongst the coffee drinkers of the world for an incredibly long while now. But in my short time as a partaker I've found that if it ain't dark and strong, it ain't worth drinking. Maybe that's just me, though. Starbucks better hope so.

Whilst driving home from work on Wednesday, the morning show I listen to was talking about pets and how long people wait to get a new one (dog, cat, duck, etc...) after theirs passes away.

The consensus of the callers and the on air personalities was that it's a very subjective thing. But, for the most part, people seemed to err on the side of waiting longer. Some even had (what I would consider to be) crazy stories like waiting 9 YEARS after their old dog had died to get a new puppy - and their mom still being upset that they were trying to "replace" the old dog.

Shortly after we got Jessie was when this topic first came up between Melissa and I. I don't know exactly how or why, but it did.

I told her how, in my family, we always seemed to get a dog very quickly after ours passed away. The one instance that most stands out in my mind was in 1990 when our dog Rusty (who was born almost exactly one year before my brother, in 1974) died one morning, after several months of slow decline. That afternoon my dad picked my brother & I up from school and we went out to get a new puppy. This process also happened several times with the "guard dogs" from the shop - who never seemed to live quite as long as the house dogs. (Go figure, a steady diet of motor oil and antifreeze does not lead to long life.)

Instead of finding it weird that we should get a new dog so soon after an older one passed away - I found it more odd when susequent dogs passed and we DIDN'T get a puppy right away. Most notable example of this was when our dog Mindy passed away. Porkchop had long since decided to move into the house, so my mom was happy with just having two dogs instead of three shedding all over the place.

Melissa's view of this situation was more in line with the callers from the radio show, however. She loves Jessie so much that she couldn't imagine ever "replacing her" and felt as though she would need several weeks or months to mourn her loss when that day comes.

So we agreed to disagree.

Recently, however, our friend Marti's cat, Mortimer, passed away and Melissa got to rethink things with a different point of view. She heard Marti describing how it was so weird to come home from work now and have the house empty without Mortimer waiting for her. It was this thought that finally helped Melissa understand me on the matter.

With a dog who is as personable and ever present as Jessie, our house will feel oh so empty when she leaves us. We will be very sad for a long time, without a doubt. And I would also probably add that I don't think we will ever find another dog quite like Jessie. (For better and for worse!) But when that sad day comes, I am very sure that our house will not be dog-less for long. Not because we'll be able to replace her. But because a new puppy and all the work they bring are just the right medicine for taking the sting off of the emptiness in the house while still leaving room for all the good memories of friends gone away.

A brief add on to the post I made several weeks ago about "specialty channels" not showing what they're supposed to be "special" for:

Tonight.

NBCSports (formerly VS., formely OLN).

Hockey game?

No.

Point Break.

Really.

Fail.

(Tagging along with someone else's thought today. A brief picture of how I felt that day.)

We were at Brandywine Creek State Park, playing disc golf as usual.

We'd just finished the 16th hole and were settling in to drive on 17 when my phone rang.

"There was an accident. It's pretty bad."

I have no words.

My mind races, because I'm a doer. But I'm so far away. And I can't do anything anyway.

"Thanks for telling me...." (I guess.)

Clouds covered over the sun - the symbolism wasn't lost on me.

"Jesus... just save her. Restore her. Please."

I'm jarred from my numbness by my idiot friends laughing.

Someone put a caterpillar on my shirt while I was tiptoeing inches away from a breakdown.

I want to yell. I want to cry. I want to punch someone. I want to walk away.

"Real cute, jerk."

But I don't. I throw a frisbee at a little metal basket.

And the world keeps on turning. And the day keeps on going.

Oh, and He did. He did save her.

She's not completely restored yet, but she's here.

And once again I don't have the words for how this makes me feel.

X